The Male Loneliness Crisis, The EPIC Muslim Housing Controversy, and A Timely Film

Earlier today I made two videos discussing two hot button issues. The male loneliness crisis and the controversy surrounding plans for a planned Muslim community in Texas. Due to TikTok limitations (where there are more viewers than YouTube) I had to keep the videos under ten minutes. I'll address some of the things I omitted here. But, first, allow me to review Friendship.

This film was a hoot. I don't watch many comedies, so I can't remember the last time I laughed so loud at a movie theater. Probably when I was watching Cocaine Bear with my daughter.

Friendship starts with a stereotypical depiction of an American man common in American and British film and TV. He's an idiot. There are basically the following roles for men now; the idiot, the villain, and the lovable, but probably a little frightened and dense, faithful man servant of the female hero. Inspired by her, these men can even rise to heroic acts of courage.

In the case of Friendship, we immediately see that the character played by Tim Robinson has a strained relationship with his teenage son and his wife politely informs him that she's going to dinner with her ex-boyfriend. I'm not sure how common such marital relationships are since I'm so detached from this segment of American society. We have been recently told that Cassie Ventura's husband is a “good man” and a role model free of “toxic masculinity”. So, who knows? I've only learned in the last year that it has become somewhat normal for secular white Americans to not have funerals upon their death, only bad parents don't turn their homes into a fuck pad for teenage and college-aged kids and their lovers, and many of the shootings in St. Louis are a result of mothers buying their young sons guns. Point being- things are like a book that just seems to keep getting worse.

So, moving on, Tim Robinson is a dork. He can't make his wife cum and he can't seem to make friends. When he meets a cool neighbor and gets to hang out with him and his friends he fumbles the bag. The rest is tragic comedic gold.

The Tim Robinson character reminded me a lot of a guy I went to high school with. He desperately tried to make friends and be cool and was never able to be accepted. It had to hurt. Years after high school I found out that he died helping a stranger fix a flat tire. I immediately thought of him as a kid again trying to make friends. (There is now a scholarship endowed in his name for students in the Ferguson-Florissant School District).

Friendship is a timely film as it discusses the topic of male friendship and when much is being made of the “male loneliness crisis”. The Atlantic is running nonstop articles asking what is wrong with men? Usually these articles are written in the condescending and arrogant tone of unlikeable urban progressives and have the feel of a nineteenth century British ethnographer in a colonial office doing a study on the “primitive” natives.

From the perspective of readers of The Atlantic, the catalyst for such discourse has been the strong multiracial support for Donald Trump last November from men. Dems in Hollywood are flabbergasted the very painful to watch Men For Harris commercial went over like New Coke, Hispanic men flocking to Trump despite the Democratic investment in the “Latinx” community, and Black men increasingly not being enthusiastic about “Black Girl Magic”.

Of course, there is no need for deep analysis. Elite entertainment and media, progressive academics with a lot of influence in the Democratic Party, and left-wing activists told men they're toxic and suck so men said “fuck you” and voted for the other guy. The end. If Dems want to win it won't be through culture wars, and obsession with identity, listening to academics and nonprofits, or shitting on men. It will be through making stong economic arguments that we are the party looking out for lower and middle income Americans.

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In the video I made the argument that the male loneliness crisis is largely a result of secularism and the decline of the family. Without a congregation to belong to, people to love you in the spirit of faith, and a sense of higher purpose, it can be difficult for men to make friends. Some culprits:

• Modern architecture and neighborhood design. Living in non walkable suburban neighborhoods lends to not knowing your neighbors and existing on an island in your mini-palace. The gated yard replaced the public park and the man cave replaced the corner, the porch, the garage, the neighborhood drinking spot, and the stoop.

• The nature of American culture is to be as productive as possible. A “careerist” or “workist” giving all to your job or business. What hinders that, including friendship, can be discarded. Friendships become more temporal, transactional, and work-based.

• The increasing number of men living away from their hometowns and family and friends to seek better employment opportunities. As men get older it becomes harder to make friends and this is especially true out of town (as I learned in Texas).

• Religious communities in the Abrahamic Tradition seek to emulate the love G_d has for humanity and show that love to the believers. Even an idiot like Tim Robinson's character in Friendship. I know of many cases of socially awkward Muslims, the drug-addicted, and even the criminal, who can always find a home and friendship in the mosque. In one such case, I know of a man addicted to drugs who was caught stealing in the mosque several times. In fact, one time he was even caught on camera and got his ass whooped, but the door was never closed. A friend asked an elder, why is the door still open to him? The answer: “maybe he's an angel and he's here to test us. Allah is Merciful so we must show mercy to a Muslim brother”. And I can give many examples. The love Muslim brothers have for one another is almost boundless. Whatever it is that you can imagine a friend to do- I've seen a Muslim brother do for another brother. Feed, house, transport, clothe, take care of their children, fight, shoot, you name it. I cannot tell you how many times Muslim brothers have been there for me when no one else was.

• If such friendship is lacking in the modern American church I would attribute that to the decline of the neighborhood church and the growth of the megachurch, smaller family sizes, and suburbanization. In other words, white American Christians are, first and foremost, white Americans, so they have the cultural issues of white Americans. In the case of the Catholic Church this means the neighborly older parish closing and the money-making, albeit less warm and friendly, exurban and affluent parish remaining open.

• The more assimilated American Jews are into mainstream white American and British culture the more white people problems they'll have. How many Satmar Hasidim men in Williamsburg do you think are complaining of a male loneliness crisis or don't have any friends? How many Chabad Houses will close their doors to a Jew because he isn't wealthy, he's ugly, or he isn't cool? How many Aish centers have refused classes to any Jewish man (outside of extreme circumstances)?

• Snarky liberals on social media, in entertainment, and in literature have also played a role in the crisis of male friendship. They often make corny jokes or false allegations against men they don't like and say they're gay. If they see a photo of two men laughing together they'll say they're gay. Responding to this, mostly secular-minded men have increasingly opted not to hang with other guys in public for fear of getting a false label. They may have friends they roast in group chats and online; but are hesitant to hang out. There is also a trend of women labeling male friendships as gay, particularly close male friends, in order to dissuade their man from spending time with other people and going out without them.

• Conservatives like Jesse Lee Peterson have decided they want to get just as stupid. Peterson claims that a man shouldn't have a man as a best friend. If that statement isn't dumb enough, a Republican Senator stated that men shouldn't use straws.

• Men have sought to fill the void created by a weakening of family ties, secularism, and the lack of male friends with politics and embracing the unhealthy MAGA and progressive movements with a religious devotion. Of course, drugs, alcoholism, and an addiction to porn is even more common.

• I don't believe that religion is the only path to healthy male friendship. Neighbors, labor unions, community organizations, volunteering, bowling teams, softball teams, fandom of sports teams, local bars and restaurants, fraternities, and many more things can be valuable in seeking friendship and meaning.

• Data on dating apps shows us that a small percentage of men are getting a lot of action. A big percentage of men aren't seen as desirable. Some work on self-improvement and others fall short. Many have things they can't change (they're short, Asian-American, bald, have kids, or any number of things data tells us women typically aren't into). When men seek to improve their chances by testing the international market where American men tend to be more valued they're also vilified and mocked. A no-win situation.

In closing this segment, I'm just as fucked up as any other American man. I'm also a product of this trash culture. The only thing saving me has been male friendship and this has largely been found through religion. Without that, and the marriage the religious experience gave me, I would almost certainly be joining the tens of millions of American men and women who spend their final decades forgotten about, abused, without a visit, friendless, in a nursing home, and upon death my body would have burned like a heathen because a burial is deemed too expensive.

The EPIC Muslim Planned Community Scandal

I separate fact from fiction in this video, call out the right-wing conspiracy nuts, and explain why the whole project is a terrible idea. The fact that Yasir Qadhi and EPIC proposed such a community just shows that Muslims have incredibly weak political instincts and are most often culturally clueless in America. From the beginning, a project like this in a Red State was going to lead to a political firestorm. The fact that no saw this coming just speaks to the low political IQ of the community. If you wanna do something like this, do it in a Blue State and slide in under the banner of diversity and inclusion. As for me? I wouldn't wanna be within ten miles of such a community in any state!

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